Edit 12/26/20: I think it's only fair to me to refer to this as a demo project, I rushed it out because I had become too burdened by the emotional toll that repeatedly editing and recording these songs took on me, especially at such a hectic and pivotal part of my life. I won't be taking it down, because I stand by it, but I should provide myself and listeners with some clarity that I do find this project, in its current state, to be unfinished. One day, when the mood is right, I'd love to finish it into a fully realized creation. {End Edit}

At the time of writing this I do not want to release this album. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with this collection of tracks and I’m not sure if I was ever even supposed to. This album is filled with emotions I’ve distanced myself from yet created in a space I’ve become incredibly intimate towards.

I started this project with a list of thoughts and concerns that I thought would be neatly resolved by the time I finished recording,
a fools errand

Cross Dreams is an album I started making for myself to listen back to and remember exactly how I felt that I night I planned on shoving a garden hose into my tail pipe, the location I had picked out to do it in, and the next day how I cried at work,
because I didn’t do it

but I didn’t,
because I wanted to make this record…

and I made it

So, I’m releasing it

so I never have to listen to it again.

(Edit 7/30/20: I have listened to it since because I am a narcissist)